Some informally dub it “grumpy old man complex.” British author Carol Wyer labels it “irritable male syndrome,” a spike in the outward crankiness of guys of a certain age.
As more baby boomers hit 60 — the age when male grumpiness seems to kick in — be ready for a growing chorus of grouchy flare-ups, like a Donald Trumprant set to explode.
The condition isn’t just a stereotype represented by the proverbial fist-waving shout, “Get off my lawn!” Testosterone levels generally fall as men age, according to the Mayo Clinic. Such hormone drops are known to dampen male moods, says Dr. Ridwan Shabsigh, head of the International Society of Men’s Health and a urologist in New York City. Continue reading →
I can give you one tip to warm you up on this subject. When you are out and about bopping around town, take your ear phones offf and partake in the world around you.
Having a wide circle of friends is equally important to men and women, according to new research.
A network of relatives also is important — but only for men, according to a study of more than 6,500 Britons born in 1958. The researchers base their findings on information collected from participants in the National Child Development Study (NCDS), when they were ages 42, 45 and 50. At the age of 42, they completed a questionnaire, called the Malaise Inventory, to gauge their psychological well-being and provide details of their partnership and job status, as well as the age at which they left full-time education. Most report they left school at the age of 16, had a partner, and were in pretty good psychological health. Continue reading →
Writing for Pinknews.co.uk, Sam Thomas, the founder and director of a national eating disorders charity, says today’s start of the new school term for LGBT students across the UK, conjures up his own difficult memories of classroom life and of homophobic bullying.
Sam Thomas is the founder and director of Men Get Eating Disorders Too
This week sees the start of ‘back to school’ for many children and teenagers, which I dreaded the most…My story begins at high school, at the age of 11. I did very well at tests – swot, boffin, those sorts of names came my way – but it became apparent that I wasn’t like the other boys, interested in cars and football. I had quite an effeminate appearance and my voice broke and sounded quite squeaky, which made the problem worse. At this point the bullying and teasing became predominantly homophobic.
By the time I was 13, the bullying had intensified. I couldn’t deal with being stuck in a classroom and being taunted constantly. I used to run out of lessons and hide in the boys’ toilets, because I knew it was the only place that I wouldn’t be found. I used to comfort eat; it was the most obvious thing to do, and there were always sweets or crisps etc. in my lunchbox. I used to be so uncomfortably full that I felt sick. I thought making myself sick made sense. I knew nothing about eating disorders – I had never even heard of bulimia – so I didn’t know what I was doing was potentially damaging.
The first time I made myself sick, there was such a release of tension and anxiety that it was quite cathartic. It became a regular habit, as I had no other way of relieving that tension. It spiralled, happening at home as well as at school. For a long time I thought it was something that only I did. I was about fifteen, when I was reading an agony aunt column in a magazine and suddenly discovered what bulimia was. If anything, it made the situation worse, because I felt as though I deserved it. Bullying gives you a very low sense of self-esteem. If you’re made to feel that way through bullying, you’re going to want to carry out self-destructive behaviour. So it was a coping mechanism for dealing with all my issues. Ultimately, it’s a form of self-harm. Continue reading →
How many of us are guilty of this? How many of us are ashamed of this behavior? Don’t be! Educate yourself.
FIRSTHAND Andrew Walen, a recovering binge eater, now counsels others.
After downing 70 chicken wings in about an hour, Andrew Walen realized he had a problem.
Oh, he had known something was wrong over the years. Normal people don’t consume 4,500 calories worth of food in one sitting, or order takeout for four when dining alone. But it took a maniacal feeding frenzy for him to finally accept the reality: He was a binge eater, and he had absolutely no control around food.
“Ultimately, it was about numbing out and self-loathing,” said Mr. Walen, now 39 and a therapist in Columbia, Md. “There was this voice in my head that said, ‘You’re no good, worthless,’ and I turned to food.”
Mr. Walen is one of an estimated eight million men and women in the United States who struggle with binge eating, defined as consuming large amounts of food within a two-hour period at least twice a week without purging, accompanied by a sense of being out of control. Continue reading →
As part of our Men’s Health Series ( http://insidefirst.me/) Accidental Bear’s Mike Enders visits with Medical Esthetician Brandon Doyle at 360 Skin in San Francisco. Overall skin care needs and Brandon’s specialties. Brandon’s passion and knowledge for men’s skin clear is in abundance. Check out our fun videos below where we chat about general skin care needs, chemical peels, sun damage, Male Brazilian Waxing and much more.
Brandon Doyle is the founder of 360 Skin, a certified medical esthetics practice for advanced skin care located in the heart of San Francisco’s Financial District. Brandon specializes in the unique needs of professional men with the expressed goal of solving your skin care issues and maintaining your skin’s health and appearance.
Brandon has received his post-graduate esthetic training from the top educators and practitioners in the esthetics field. He continues his education through annual conferences and coursework to ensure his clients are given the most cutting edge treatments.
The utilization of non-invasive cosmetic procedures, nutrition, and a keen, discerning eye all allow him to rectify the aging process with natural appearing results. Ultimately, it is Brandon’s straightforward, genuine demeanor, knowledge, and skill that make him one of San Francisco’s top aesthetic practitioners.
Yet Ireland is a long way away from us here in San Francisco, The Rainbow Project is a great role model for gay men and groups world wide.
About The Rainbow Project
The Rainbow Project is a health organisation that works to improve the physical, mental & emotional health of gay, bisexual and non-heterosexual men in Northern Ireland.
We are the largest gay organisation in Northern Ireland and have two centres: one in Belfast city centre and the other in Foyle, L’Derry.
The Rainbow Project was established in 1994 by a group of volunteers who were concerned about the spread of HIV within the gay male population of Northern Ireland.
These volunteers wanted to provide information and support to men who have sex with men (MSM) ahout HIV and AIDS (Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome). They carried out research within the gay and bisexual communities in order to find out what type of information and support services were required. Continue reading →
I just finished reading about the suicide of a gay therapist Bob Bergeron. No one knows why he committed suicide—the author of the article and many of his friends are left to wonder about the reasons. But the irony left in the wake of his death is hard to ignore. He was about to publish a book on successful gay male aging and his suicide note suggests that we was struggling with the very issue he was writing about—a potentially difficult issue for many gay men as we grow older..
A closer consideration of gay male aging suggests why growing older might be a particularly tricky. First of all, a large component of gay male culture is focused on beauty, youth, and sexual attractiveness. Like their heterosexual counterparts, gay men respond and react sexually to visual stimuli, namely the physical appeal of their sexual partners. As a result, beauty is privileged and so are the men who have it.
Joan Collins once said that physical beauty is a gift granted in youth that is slowly taken away little by little over time. Thus, gay men who are lucky to live long enough to age must face the decline of their attractiveness. However, growing up gay in a stigmatizing society might leave them particularly ill-suited to face the challenges of this time of life.
Bob Bergeron is a case in point. According to an article in the Sunday April 1st New York Times, Mr. Bergeron grew up nervous and awkward, poor at sports and unable to interact with other boys. If he was like a lot of other growing up gay boys, he was probably scapegoated and physically harassed. Many of us, include me, were terribly bullied as children. We were called out for being gay before we even knew who we were. At the same time, we learned being gay was something shameful and disgusting needing to be hidden from the world, including the people closest to us. Many of my clients and research respondents who have experienced this stigmatization grow up with deep wounds and a profound sense of personally inadequacy and low self-worth. So perhaps we were vulnerable to some of the dark sides of gay male life, namely, its overemphasis on looks, youth, and sexual attractiveness at the cost of healthier and life sustaining values that can assist us as we age. MORE
A gay discussion where “How Have John Waters Movies Helped Shape Gay Culture in Baltimore,” is on the table, I’m in (Well, if I were a little bit closer).
Charm City now has its own gay male social group aimed at men 18+. (Wikimedia photo by Kathleen Conklin)
A new gay men’s discussion and social group was launched in Baltimore earlier this month. Based on the success of a similar group—the Gay District in Washington, D.C.—Charm City Gay Social was formed and meets each Friday from 8:30-10 p.m. at the First United Church – United Church of Christ, 1728 Eastern Ave. in the Fell’s Point area. A move to the Mount Vernon neighborhood may take place eventually.
The group, which was founded by David Sugar and Ian Damm Luhr, is aimed at gay men 18 and over. It holds weekly discussions on a variety of subjects, including “What Kind of Gay Are You: New Gay Stereotypes” and “How Have John Waters Movies Helped Shape Gay Culture in Baltimore.” The organizers are seeking discussion facilitators for future meetings.
There may be a game night added to the mix or other activities to be determined. Following the discussion, participants go out for dinner in the area or head to the clubs. MORE
This video, shown at SAMHSA’s 8th annual Prevention Day in February 2012, recognizes the work of Gay Men’s Health Crisis (GMHC), Healthy Connections to prevent substance abuse, suicide, and HIV infectionamong gay male youth and adults. GMHC, Healthy Connections, located in New York City, reaches out to gay and questioning male youth and young adults, particularly African-American males ages 12 to 17 and 18 to 24, who are at risk for substance abuse, HIV infection, and suicide. Healthy Connections provides prevention and intervention strategies and HIV testing. A facilitator travels to areas throughout New York City where the target population congregates and initiates conversations with individuals in these areas; during the conversations, the facilitator explains prevention services to gauge whether the individuals may be interested in participating. Outreach and informational palm cards are also provided at bars and clubs. Contact information is collected from young men who have sex with men interested in any of the services. Visit http://www.gmhc.org for more information about GMHC and its prevention programming.