Tag Archives: aging

Gay Men and Aging: Finding Your Purpose

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I just finished reading about the suicide of a gay therapist Bob Bergeron.  No one knows why he committed suicide—the author of the article and many of his friends are left to wonder about the reasons. But the irony left in the wake of his death is hard to ignore. He was about to publish a book on successful gay male aging and his suicide note suggests that we was struggling with the very issue he was writing about—a potentially difficult issue for many gay men as we grow older..

 

A closer consideration of gay male aging suggests why growing older might be a particularly tricky. First of all, a large component of gay male culture is focused on beauty, youth, and sexual attractiveness. Like their heterosexual counterparts, gay men respond and react sexually to visual stimuli, namely the physical appeal of their sexual partners. As a result, beauty is privileged and so are the men who have it.

Joan Collins once said that physical beauty is a gift granted in youth that is slowly taken away little by little over time. Thus, gay men who are lucky to live long enough to age must face the decline of their attractiveness. However, growing up gay in a stigmatizing society might leave them particularly ill-suited to face the challenges of this time of life.

Bob Bergeron is a case in point. According to an article in the Sunday April 1st New York Times,  Mr. Bergeron grew up nervous and awkward, poor at sports and unable to interact with other boys. If he was like a lot of other growing up gay boys, he was probably scapegoated and physically harassed. Many of us, include me, were terribly bullied as children. We were called out for being gay before we even knew who we were.  At the same time, we learned being gay was something shameful and disgusting needing to be hidden from the world, including the people closest to us. Many of my clients and research respondents who have experienced this stigmatization grow up with deep wounds and a profound sense of personally inadequacy and low self-worth. So perhaps we were vulnerable to some of the dark sides of gay male life, namely, its overemphasis on looks, youth, and sexual attractiveness at the cost of healthier and life sustaining values that can assist us as we age. MORE

Which, btw, may have nothing to do with the gym.

What Happens to The Human Body When It Gets Older and You Don’t Exercise?

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Aging is commonly associated with a loss of muscle mass and strength, resulting in falls, functional decline, and the subjective feeling of weakness. Exercise modulates the morbidities of muscle aging. Most studies, however, have examined muscle-loss changes in sedentary aging adults. This leaves the question of whether the changes that are commonly associated with muscle aging reflect the true physiology of muscle aging or whether they reflect disuse atrophy. Continue reading →

Osteoporosis Hits Men, Too: WAKE UP CALL MEN, KNOCK-KNOCK

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Let’s look into this crystal ball and take a little peek at what we see. Yep, you are getting older and there is nothing you can do about it, besides listen to your body, and hear what it’s telling you. Us men are tricky little, stubborn critters with many illnesses going  under-diagnosed, under-treated, and under-researched. WAKE UP CALL MEN, KNOCK-KNOCK. Enders

More than 2 million American men have osteoporosis, and an additional 12 million are at risk, according to the National Osteoporosis Foundation. Male osteoporosis seems to be a disease ahead of its time: under-diagnosed, under-treated, and under-researched. Data from NIH’s ongoing National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey indicate that the number of men affected will roughly double to nearly 5 million men by 2020. A study in theArchives of Internal Medicine confirms the lack of awareness regarding male osteoporosis, with fewer than three percent of men, compared with 42 percent of women, receiving treatment. Continue reading →